The Impact of Weather.

Hey loves! Is the weather crazy where you live? I live in Tennessee and it’s just now freezing! It “snowed” a little bit Friday night, but not enough to be excited about. I just want my dogs to have their first snow! How cute would that be? It’s supposed to snow tomorrow so if we get it, I’ll definitely throw some pics on here of my babies outside! On to the topic of today, which is the impact weather has on chronic pain. It’s a common thing for people with arthritis to say they feel pain when it’s cold or rains, but nobody really talks about the impact on other illnesses. The weather impacts my spondylolisthesis, fibromyalgia and my depression. My back and legs will hurt so bad. I think I’m one to handle pain, but when it’s gets to be in the 20’s (like today), I have to unfortunately take medicine and hope for the best. I had physical therapy this morning, and now I’m hurting even worse! My pain is at about a 7/8 on the pain scale. Which would probably be at around a 15 for a lot of people! It hurts to just lay in bed.

The fibromyalgia hurts worse with the cold too. My whole body will hurt. From my scalp to my toes. I’ll get rashes so bad in the winter also! I’ve had a rash/dry skin on my face for about a month or 2. 😦

Everyone hears about the seasonal blues and I never really understood it until this year. I’ve had depression for years, but I feel like it’s worse this year (as well as my anxiety). The gloominess just makes me want to lay in bed all day, every day. I don’t want to move or even watch tv.

Does anyone else get effected by the cold? What does it do to you? I hope everyone is as pain free as possible. Xoxo

Life expectations.

Hello loves! I came across a question a little bit ago on Pinterest, and I want to answer it here. This is my place to vent now, and I think it’s perfect to explain to everyone who I am.

The question was, “Is your life the way you imagined it would be?” My answer is no. I never thought in a million years my life would be this way. I dreamed of going to high school and developing relationships with people. Eventually graduating and moving on to college. I always thought I would be the kid to go off to college and live in a dorm. I wanted the full young adult life experience that is portrayed on tv, and in real life for some. My life turned upside down a month into my freshmen year of high school. I developed an abscessed pilonidal cyst on my tailbone, and couldn’t even sit or stand. We found it on a Monday and I had surgery on Tuesday or Wednesday. It was my first ever surgery and it was terrible. They sent me home to recover and my mom had to unpack and pack my wound with gauze every day. It was the worst experience and pain that I think I will ever endure. The cyst returned 6 more times. I had 6 surgeries total and the seventh cyst was removed in my surgeons office. He gave me no pain meds or numbing and ripped the cyst out and cauterized me! I don’t think anything will ever compare to that pain. It was the only time I ever cried through all surgeries. I was 14 when the surgeries started, and 2 weeks after my first surgery my grandfather died unexpectedly. He was my favorite person and it was the worst thing to go through. I wasn’t allowed to see him for those two weeks because of my open wound and him being in a nursing home. I don’t think I have really grieved over him yet. My last cyst surgery was when I was 17. I still had horrible back and leg pain, so we got an adult surgeon to agree to see me. He found out I have a spine condition called spondylolisthesis. Basically my back is broken. I had a spinal fusion in April 2017. I also have polycystic ovarian syndrome, fibromyalgia, anxiety and depression. My anxiety was so bad between 15-18 that I would not leave my house. When I did, I would cry uncontrollably. While dealing with all my medical problems, all my friends abandoned me, except one really good friend. I had to teach myself online school and I now do college online because I still can’t go to a college and sit down/walk around.

Who can imagine their life like this? It’s so scary to know life can change so fast. I still dream about a future, but I have had to change careers because of my illnesses. I pray that my children can imagine a good future and it not get messed up like mine.

I’m sorry this post is so long, but I think I just needed to vent and get everything out of me. Not many people read my posts, but I think it’s a part of my healing process to write it out. I hope everyone is doing good. Xoxo.

Goals.

Hey loves! Sorry it’s been a little longer than expected! My Internet was cut off for a few days and I had to get a new phone so I just downloaded the app again! I hope everyone is doing great!

New Years resolutions are a common thing that people do every year. I’m sure most of you have made a list before and maybe only achieved one or two of them. This year I don’t want to call them resolutions. I want to call them goals that I can achieve by next year. If I don’t, oh well! There’s always next year. Here are some of my goals:

Graduate with my associates degree. I have 10 months to finish school, so this is top on my list!

Train my dogs. One of my dogs does NOT get along with my sisters dog whatsoever. They’re constantly in other rooms separated and they’re sisters! So this year I want to get her trained and nice again by their second birthday in August!

Read more books. In 2017 I read 17 books, my hope is to read more this year!

Change my lifestyle. I want to be at the weight I was before I got sick. Which was 170, so I need to lose 60 pounds. I want to eat a healthier diet and exercise! Hopefully be able to have a little bit of a “bikini bod”. Although I wear high waisted suits now!

Be more social. I haven’t been very social since getting sick, but this year I want to change that! I’m finally at an age where I can go out and have real fun. I want to meet more people!

Get off medications. I’m on about 10 medications so this year I want to get off of some! I know it will be hard, but I hate taking them!

What are some of your goals this year? Please share in the comments! I hope to keep everyone updated on mine! Xoxo

New Years Weekend

Hey loves! I want to share my New Year’s Eve weekend with you all since it was my very first time going out! It was also my 21st birthday. I’m a New Year’s Eve baby! I’ve never been one to party or have big plans for New Year’s Eve because I’ve been sick since I was 14 so I couldn’t do much. I have a 23 year old sister so her and her friends decided they were going to take me out! Before we get to the big party, I’ll share what I did throughout the day! Of course, I wanted to start the day off right and have a birthday breakfast! My mom and sister took me to Denny’s! They were super packed so it took 2 hours to get food, and it was cold! We didn’t complain but the 2 hour wait really set us back on getting ready! I had planned my birthday dinner to be at Olive Garden since some of my friends aren’t 21. I got there an hour late. (Fashionably late, of course). I got my first legal drink, Berry sangria! I drank about half a pitcher and shared with my sister. After dinner, we went to a local bar/club that is just really chill and has old throwback music! I drank way too much. It was amazing though! I’ve been in pain for 6 years, and I guess the drunkenness got rid of my pain so I was dancing and singing the night away! We got home at 4 AM but I woke up at 8 AM really sick! My first hangover did not go well! Haha. I threw up about 20 times! I’m alive though! I’ve been exhausted ever since but it was SO worth it! What did everyone else do for New Year’s Eve? In the next post I want to talk about things I want to achieve this year! Hope you enjoy!

Meeting Meena.

Hello loves! My name is Meena, and I’ll be turning 21 on Sunday. I’m not your typical early twenty year old. Ive been out of school and doing online high school and college since I was 15. I’m getting my associates in psychology online and I’m hoping to go to a community college to get my bachelors. I haven’t decided what career I want yet, but I’m thinking criminal psychology would be so fun! Another thing that sets me apart from people my age is that I’ve never dated anyone or been in a relationship. See, I have health problems that started when I was 14 and never went away. It’s very hard being this young and being sick, but I try to be strong. I have spondylolisthesis, fibromyalgia, pcos, anxiety and depression. I am trying to get out more and not sulk at home anymore. Although I’m super busy at home because we have 9 dogs as a family! (I will post pics below!). One is a full dachshund and the rest are half dachshund. They keep me busy and they help with my depression. I wouldn’t wake up if I didn’t have them! I love to watch tv, read, play with puppies, travel, explore and now blog in my free time! My goal with this blog is to inform people on what it’s like to be an early twenty year old in this day and age. I also want to share the journey of finding yourself at this age. I want to bring awareness to all the stereotypes we get that are far from correct. I also want to bring awareness to the fact that younger people can have chronic illnesses and pain! We shouldn’t be treated any different. I hope you all come back and follow along as I discover myself as a person and try to bring awareness!